Hag or crone?

Because I am essentially a spineless cowardy-custard, I have, as yet, failed to take action against the fouler or foulers of my doorstep. I admit to having rather wicked fantasies involving apero invitations and filo pastry nibbles, piped with a mystery truffley filling...would anyone like to lend me the use of their oven?


I'm knackered....so I'm just going to ramble. Feel free to bugger off now, if you've got some sardines grilling or some paint drying somewhere..

It's the easter holidays. I'm not religious...I'm ashamed to say, it just spells 'Kinder' to me. Two exhausting weeks of childcare, cut in half by one mad weekend packed with enough chocolate to bring us all out in hives...no money, so no activities...well not of the 'real' kind according to Sprog. A 'real' activity would be something like a couple of days at Playmobil land, or whatever it's called....or a spell at Futuroscopic....or whatever the fuck that's called....you can tell I'm really interested in these places...or paintballing confused old-timers... or a day's Karting...now I wouldn't mind doing that, if we could afford it. But I'm not sure Sprog meets the height requirements anyway...so we have to content ourselves with 'crap'ie. 'free' activities like going on nature walks, bike rides, tree climbing, painting, sheep monitoring, bird song workshops,Dad baiting...oh it's so dull to be a six year old country mouse...if only he had a Nintendo DS, life would be worth living...well it would be for me, at least. I might get something done.


We went visiting pals this afternoon. I was sitting outside in the sun for too long and am now a rather fetching puce colour.I have been trying to find a high protection facial sunblock that doesn't make me look like Marcel Marceau - but I don't know if one exists. Urgent action needs to be taken to arrest the demise of my poor complexion. Any suggestions welcomed.