It’s annoying to be back at the tyre-fitters.
Four weeks ago, we had new tyres fitted. I rather pointedly refused the extra insurance on each tyre…reasoning, not unreasonably, that the goods should be sold fit for purpose….and that barring an improbable tyre-slashing outbreak in the village…they should stand up to whatever the French roads throw at them…so I would take my chances…
Now there’s a problem with one of the tyres. There is a slow leak.
The guy is standing there in his breeze-block bureau, wearing a pair of those ubiquitous tight blue overalls favoured by French grease-monkeys.
But I’m lost for words. Stunned into silence. My eyes are glued to the thing that is stuck on his lower lip.
It is a hair. Wiry and grey, and unmistakably of pubic origin.
The hair on his head is chestnut brown. The gunk under his nails is black.
My mind races through possibilities. Sometimes, it is the worse thing in the world to have a vivid imagination.
Has he been pleasuring an octogenarian rubber-freak out the back?
Economising on dental floss?
Performing a tool inventory?
I have to leave. I am repulsed (and it takes a lot to do that, dear readers.)
And there were no dogs. I checked.
On another matter entirely...I would like to congratulate blog-mate and rising star, Jaywalker, over at Belgian Waffle, for making it into the Times Top 100 Blog list. If you haven't already, do drop by Belgian Waffle and stuff your face...you won't regret it. Well done Emma!
Friday, 27 February 2009
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12 comments:
Oh Blimey! Now you have made ME feel queasy!
Trying to think of an obvious explanation to yours, but I can't!
I've heard pubic hair referred to as 'Organic dental floss'...
You seem to be blogging aboug tight blue overalls rather a lot these days. I'll have to introduce you to "Imagination Movers" - the US answer to The Wiggles. You can google them if you need another blue overalls fix.
Now I keep feeling that I have something disagreeable stuck between my teeth and there should be absolutely no reason for it, I swear! It's the power of suggestion.
Eeeurgh. Maybe he put it there on purpose... kind of an advert for the other 'sevices' he can perform... Ew. Am kind of liking the sound of the tight overalls though. I must get out more
Thank you petal! Also OMFG. You don't get that at KwikFit do you?
[NOUVELLE STAR!! Slight monomania thing going on here. Sorry.]
If there definitely were no dogs, we can rule out the possibility that it was canine pubes. That's a relief. My first thought had been: poodle.
Eurgh!
Talking of grey pubes, Auntie Ivy informed me, over trifle and birthday sausage rolls yesterday that hers are "beginning to resemble a brillo pad".
oh no. No no no no no.
la la laaaaaa.
trying to blot it out but it's not happening. did it wobble as he talked?
eeew eew eeew.
you won't believe this but my word verification is 'perumpr' i wonder who he had been perumpring with?
i suppose it could have been one of his own. I have it on the best authority that greyness can happen down there....
and i love those overalls! did it have a curious parallel double zip thing going on? I've not worked out why they have those, is it so that you can unzip one side and reach under your armpit (oooo! maybe it was an armpit hair!!!!)and then when the other armpit itches you can unzip the one closest to that armpit??
and oh dear god, to cap it all, i just scrolled down and read nunhead mum of one's comment.
I have to leave.
Pigx
Knowing you, I'm surprised you didn't just ask him. In your usual low key style, of course.
I'd have paid good money to see that.
Maggie,
I apologise for any nausea - I'm afraid it's a bit of a given if you visit this blog!
Brennig,
Yeah, they sell it in Body Shop - it's harvested from the downstairs areas of the particularly hirsute Hairymingeious tribe of Outer Inner Newer Older Guinea.
Iota,
Do I? Thank you for pointing this out. I shall avoid Imagination Movers for the moment - there's only so much a girl can take.
Irene,
Oh...look....is that a bit of spinach you've got there...no...just there...tee hee...
Jen,
My slack descriptive skills have given the wrong imperession. This guy was no hottie. The very thought is quite gagtastic.
Jaywalker,
Nouvelle Star has not captured me....yet. It is clearly having a destabilising effect on you, so perhaps it's best avoided.
Susie,
The addition of poodle into the equation is deeply unsettling and an avenue I strenuously resist pursuing.
Nun,
Oh God! Ha! Aunty Ivy, bless her. I'm horrified, grossed out and inspired - all in equal measure!
Pig,
Yep, those are they (the overalls.) I just long to get some kind of remote-control magnet on a stick thing going on, where you can pull their zips down in a flash - from a distance. What a laugh! I have tried to get Spouse to get some of these overalls - but he just sneers contemptuously whenever I mention it.
RC,
Do you know the French for pube?
Mya x
What do you mean, there was no dog...what are you suggesting? OMG....I love it when you blog dirty. PS the word verification this time is 'henasms' - which sounds as though it's been following your blog, too. Old Macdonald, eat your heart out.....
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