Sprog wants a motorbike.
In France, you can legally ride one on the road at fourteen years of age.
He tells me when nine years have past, he will be riding a motorbike. He will be on the lookout for fun and frolics on his own – Maman will not have to drive him anywhere.
No.
Maman will be sitting at home, chewing her nails to the quick, tearing her hair out and suffering wave after wave of panic attack.
No.
This is how events will actually unfold.
Sprog will be taught to drive a car at seventeen. Once he has passed his test, I will purchase for him an armoured Volvo. Whilst he is still my responsibility he will never have a motorbike.
Now I have to convince him that this option is equally exciting. Go-faster stripes seem a bit...hypocritical of me. Mixed messages and all that. I suppose he is only five years old...perhaps I'm worrying too much.
Friday, 12 September 2008
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12 comments:
oh god, my boyfriend announced a similar intentiont he other day and suddenly I metemorphosed into one of those neurotic nailbiting women, all out of nowhere.
If he's only 5 I'd suggest you start aversion therapy NOW....cold buckets of water over him everytime one appears on TV..anything!!!
Fourteen?! Madness. Here you can drive at 15 (though only to school and back, I think, till you're 16). Also madness.
Hee, hee, tell him the motorcycle sometimes topples over and breaks various bodyparts that you need to have fun in life.
Why do males always think they need a motorcycle? What does it do for them? I know what it does for us...but for them?
Perhaps it's the wind in their hair and the long stretch of highway leading to another adventure. Perhaps it's the macho look. I don't know.
What I do know is that those exhaust pipes can scar you for life. Proof is on my leg.
Motorbiking is excellent! But I speak as someone who took his test in Germany, took my Advanced in the UK and would like to take my racing test in Barçelona. And what's so good about it? The speed. On a 500cc street bike 0-30 quicker than a Ferrari? Excellent. But sprog should stay away from small bikes/mopeds because that's the high-risk end of the market.
I have been that maman chewing my nails........ I know what its like to lie awake worrying about a biker. But five years old is too early to start to even think of it!
it's all wrong, all wrong. Our darling pudgy boys should NEVER be allowed to feel the thrill of speed.
I just tell mine that he will - no question - die if he gets a motorbike. Dead. Mangled. Horrid way to go.
I think that's a reasonable and logical reaction to the problem.
Pigx
If he's still talking about it when he's 13, take him to casualty on a rainy Saturday night. Let him listen to the surgeons referring to the next 'organ donor' coming in - their amusing way of talking about bikers in an accident. That should sort him out.
(Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm totally with you on this one, and as the mother of two boys who already think bikes are cool, as you see I have my strategy all worked out...)
My boys will only be allowed to drive vehicles with a minimum of 3 wheels. Any car will be fitted with a Granny go-slow device and padded with velour armchairs to cushion any bumps.
Anyway, nine years is quite a lot of years. Just think how much other worrying you can fit into all that time.
That would scare me too. Mind you even skateboards scare me. You're going to have to seriously big up that volvo though.
I'm going through the same here, except DS is nearly 13 so we are only a year and a bit away. They do the scooter test at school too so there's no getting away from it. VLiF
Screamish,
Cold buckets of water - sounds reasonable. Thank you.
Iota,
I agree, it's quite mad. France has got the highest death rate on the roads in Europe - they drive like complete lunatics.It's very scarey.
Irene,
Scare tactics. OK. Thanks.
Aims,
Well, he's only five so I doubt it's the macho look!
Brennig,
I so knew you were going to say that.
Maggie,
Yes, I think I might have to calm down a bit.
Pig,
It is wrong. Very wrong.I'm his mother and I want to protect him,keep him safe. Of course, in his eyes I'm just being the ultimate killjoy and he resents it. I can't win. Motherhood sucks sometimes. But then you know that,Pig.
Potsy,
Good idea. Horrible story though.
Jen,
Nine years of worry - I'll end up looking like Mother Theresa. Yikes!
Jo,
Yeah, I know. Volvos are pretty dull. Even I think so. Maybe we could put it on big tractor wheels - you know, like a monster truck? Visibility would be good...which is a safety plus.
VLiF,
Hello, welcome to my world! I know, I was staggered when I learned the kids do all the theory at school, it's actually part of the curriculum. What next?Paragliding?
Mya x
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