It's started again. Every year is the same. The supermarkets are full of them. The winding country roads clogged with them. Cafes and bars packed with them. Swimming pools and lakes flooded with them.
Holidaymakers.
Don't you just hate them?
Exposing their pasty, white blubber to us poor unsuspecting, apple-cheeked country folk. There should be laws against it. Cycling in the middle of the road. Taking an inordinate amount of time in the bank to perform the simplest of monetary transactions. Jamming up the roads in their RVs (don't they ever give these people eye/intelligence tests before letting them loose with their sheds on wheels?) And they always seem to be driven by eighty-five year old Austrians who travel with all their biscuits on board, thus contributing nothing to the local economy whatsoever. They just seem happy polluting our beautiful, clean air with their exhaust fumes and the faint smell of cat piss and nicotine.
Do I sound slightly peeved?
I am.
I hate the summer holidays. The whole fecking country ceases to function. Nothing gets done. Everything is closed.
Wishing time away is a dreadful thing to do...but right now, September can't come soon enough.
Rant ends.
Saturday, 5 July 2008
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12 comments:
When we're 85, we will smell of cat wee and have to carry emergency biscuits at all times too. I doubt we will become Austrian though which is a small consolation.
You could come to Blighty. Summer appears to have been cancelled here.
Just came by via rural villager, Lindsay, and have been sniggering away at your snail love-ins and general erotica. The kids just asked me what I was laughing at 'just a lady talking about France, I said'.
Sounds just like Somerset. Except for the smell of cat's wee.
Oh poor Mya! Can't you escape for the duration to something abit more remote and hospitable ... like Cancun or the Caribbean?! If ever you want to indulge in (and be tortured by) our American version of remoteness, drop me a line and I'll hook you three up for a few weeks!!
Hang in there, darlin'
I recommend escaping to Hawaii.
Lots of tourists, it's true, but... wait for it... no RVs!
emergency biscuits! Oh my god, I just realized I carry them already. Shoot me now...
Love your remark about the biscuits Mya. I am reliably informed that when certain Dutch tourists head south to the Med, they not only take their own potatoes with them, but also their OWN BOTTLES OF EVIAN.
Not that the Dutch are tight, or anything. (Obviously, Husband is the exception who proves the rule...)
you have an award and a tag at my place!
NMO x
Yeah! I reckon you should come to dear old England the Land of The Rain & Cold for the summer holidays! That will help you to appreciate your lovely surroundings!
sounds like someone's still obsessing over swimsuits. ha.
Jen,
Speak for yourself - if I ever smell of cat wee I'm going to top myself. I'd rather be Austrian.
BTM,
Welcome to France! I checked you out - what a great blog. Anyone who blogs about butt plugs has my vote!
Brennig,
Somerset? Really? I lived there when I was a baby, I'm told. I can't remember it. Probably a good thing.
Molly,
I am off on my summer hols in a bit, so I shouldn't really complain too much. I'll be pissing off the Portugese locals in much the same way, I imagine.
Merry,
Hello! No RVs? Are they banned? Sounds like common sense to me.
Screamish,
Emergency biscuits are acceptable if you are preggers.
Potsy,
I came in close contact with the Dutch on hols last summer - I don't think I am the only person who thought it weird that they hoovered their tents...and spent three days of their holiday packing.
Nun,
Oooh, how lovely. You are kind. I shall try and take part when I have a mo. x
Maggie,
Oh dear, is the weather still bad? I won't tell you what ours was like today - you might aim a cyber-punch at me!
JNRR,
Do you know, I still haven't bought one. I just can't seem to find one I like...or that likes me.
Mya x
Catching up. Erm, bloody foreigners.
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